Gratitude - Why It’s Important to Choose Joy

“I’m tired.”

“I just want this done.”

“Why does this keep on happening to me?”

All of us have said these lines once or twice—or even multiple times a day. We are not immune to the loads of tasks that we might tackle under short notice. Oftentimes, we find it hard to have peace when small inconveniences happen. Things don’t go as we planned, work continues to pile up, quizzes and school assignments seem never-ending.

On top of that, we have burdens that need catering to and are unfinished whether emotionally or mentally. We face these challenges almost always simultaneously, and all of a sudden, we find ourselves complaining. But ask yourself, has it always been helpful? Does it not rob us of peace and the strength for a task that has not even started?

“Why is it so hard?”

“Why does it have to be me?”

“This again?”

“This is unfair.”

or even deeper, something like this:

“Why am I like this?”

It is not wrong to strive to excel in everything. I mean, we often complain because we see that our goals are not aligned with our reality—we find it frustrating when things don’t behave the way they must. And I am not talking about unplanned inconveniences alone, but also the frustrations that we have in ourselves.

Think back—how often have you caught yourself complaining?

In a fast-paced world where everything has to be instantaneous, we can get short-sighted by our limitations as we fall into two things: underestimating or overestimating ourselves.

When a schoolwork comes up and it is not something we have done previously, it is easy to run ahead of ourselves and say our frustrations just because we feel intimidated by the newness of the challenge. We are not used to challenging ourselves and our existing beliefs, systems, or routines, that we find it easier to complain first before getting to embracing the challenges presented before us.

By doing this, we underestimate ourselves. We sell ourselves short and we look not beyond to what we could accomplish or what could serve to glorify God and uplift others. We don’t like to be inconvenienced, and we limit ourselves to stay in what is comfortable at the cost of our growth. We choose what is easy and comfortable even if it meant stagnation.

I am not saying that it is wrong to feel tired or sigh a little bit when we get new work or jobs to do. I am referring to the kind of complaints that is usually a default mode in us. We haven’t even tackled the project yet, but it already seemed insurmountable. I am not immune to this—I am this too.

When Complaints Become a Cycle

Now, there are instances where we accept more jobs than we can handle. We never know where our limitations lie, and when we make work that does not produce the qualities we intended, we get frustrated—and we complain. Again.

Again, it is never wrong to complain about outputs that don’t pass our standards. The desire to produce the highest quality within our capacities is built into all of us. But it is also never wrong to be honest with ourselves and say that, “This is something that is beyond my capacity.”

I am not referring to the kinds of complaints that have persevered under duress and hard circumstances. There are times that there is nothing we can do but to cry out, and it is a very valid and human response. That is not what I am talking about here.

It is not wrong to feel tired, but it is not right to view things in a complaint mode consistently.

When hard times come, it is easier to focus on the trial and complain.

But what if I tell you there is another way to respond?

My Turning Point

There was a time when I was, as I could say, hard-pressed against all sides. Relationally, I was not doing good. Various conflicts arose, and the challenges in my relationships were really bad. I found it frustrating back then that alongside these relational problems (in almost all aspects of my life), I had troubles with my studies and work. Spiritually, I wasn’t doing good either.

Looking back, it really was just a hard place—a wasteland. It’s not even the wilderness, but a place where hopes got crushed, and strengths got pushed farther than they were able. And when I tried to look at my circumstances, I had nothing to see but darkness and brokenness all over.

I praise God for giving me grace. I believe that He really met me where I was at that time. If it wasn’t for Him, I’d never know where I’d be. I probably would not have made it to the other side.

So what I did was, since I felt that I had no other choice but to sigh, complain—a LOT—cry out and say that this was a place I never wanted to be nor would I ever want to stay in any longer.

My health was failing, my relationships deteriorating, and on top of that, I had to show up to school and work bringing in the best of my capabilities to sustain the qualities they asked of me.

My cries also sometimes felt that they were not heard. It was a situation where complaining was by far the easiest thing to do. So I did it at every chance I got.

It also, however, made me stuck in that place longer than it would have been had I allowed myself to be humbled by His grace and accept everything with a grateful and submissive heart.

So there I was, still complaining why I was the way I was, and also complaining about my circumstances. I knew it wasn’t working—it was just easier.

I got to a point where I couldn’t see any hope or future that I wanted as long as I stayed in that mode. This is what I meant when I said that if it was not for His grace, I would be far worse today.

One night, I took a long, hard look at myself and saw that I was not only hurting my relationship with the Lord but also those whom I had promised to protect and love. I knew that by going in this direction, it would give way to a path where I would forever regret. It was a glimpse of what my life would be as I pictured it, that would come as a result of the path I was walking on. Until now, I couldn’t erase that image. I hated the picture.

Something inside me snapped. I repented and asked for forgiveness, and by that, I finally got more careful.

A New Perspective

Along the way, I still found it difficult to cope with my situations since they still were not the way I wanted. Complaining was still one of the main things I did, but I also knew it would pave the way to the path I dreaded.

I had no choice, but by grace, I felt forced to look at things gratefully. My eyes were finally opened by grace to view the world with childlike wonder. Heck, even sunlight makes me giggle with joy now. I practiced gratitude daily then. I noticed that though it never changed my situations, I was more attuned to my walk, joy in my relationship with Christ (the most important thing for me), and I was enabled—by grace, because all is grace (grasya lang gid tanan! IYKYK)—to view things, no matter how small, with gratefulness and joy.

It still came as a challenge for me, since sometimes the situations got worse, but now I have learned that joy and gratitude are both choices I can make no matter how bad things get.

The good in my life was Christ. I will forever be foremostly grateful for His salvation and my relationship with Him. He chose me when I would never have chosen myself.

Practicing gratitude was a real life-changer. It was the means that God used to make me enjoy the things He has bought at the cost of His blood. It made me less entitled, and more focused on the now than what or how I’ve wanted things to be. Gratitude brought about by grace is something that I realized, not a small thing. Instead of looking to the missing things, gratitude turns our attention to what has already been given to us. It trusts that in the face of hardships, God is working something behind the mess.

Gratitude and joy go hand-in-hand. If you can find things to be grateful for in everything no matter where you are in life, it’s easier to focus more on garnering joy even in the presence of pain. “Joy and pain can coexist,” indeed. Joy is never the absence of pain, it is what helps us get through it. Christians can have a joy that can be made even in the midst of chaos.

Christ has made this all possible for me—and you.

Joy Is a Choice

That is why I always want to encourage people to learn this skill, because truthfully, I don’t want anyone to learn the hard way as I did—just because I chose to complain instead of looking to the good.

I would like to exhort you, my dearest brethren: gratitude plays an important key in our witnessing to the world.

Will you choose joy today, or will you choose to stay in the cycle of complaints?